So, here’s the cold hard truth about being a missionary.  It’s hard!  It’s full of human experiences, all while trying to raise your thoughts and actions to help bring people closer to God.  Throughout January, I had some extremely human moments.  There were times that I judged too quickly, times when my body gave out and I just had to slow down, times when I felt I just couldn’t measure up, or felt like others felt that about me.  There were times of extreme happiness, giddiness, and joy, while still others when I felt downtrodden, sullen, and insignificant.  I continued to find that Satan tries to discourage missionaries in every way that he can.  On the flip side, angels were constantly surrounding us.  We were blessed with good people who looked out for us, and heaven showered down protection and blessings on our heads.  There is “opposition in all things”.  Whichever we choose to focus on will be the most dominant in our lives.

1 Jan 1996

Wow!  Another year gone by.  That is so crazy! Well, I have about 15 minutes to write in here.  Last night was cool. We went over to the sisters and had a little pizza party, and played cards.  It was fun, but by the time it was time to go home, it was too dangerous outside. So, we just stayed the night over there and watched fireworks from the castle out the window.  So fun!

Oh yeah, we got a new zone leader.  It’s Elder Reynolds. He’s also still branch president in Celje.  Crazy! I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I’m scared for this zone, but man, a few missionaries have to pull their  heads out of the ground. Ok, now I shouldn’t be judging. 

I think my time is up.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!  

I know, I haven’t even set any resolutions yet, but hey, why start now?  I just want to keep working on the goals I’ve got now, for here and now.  I really can’t think about after mission life anymore than I already do. Plus, that’s one of my goals.  10:00. Lahko noč!

7 Jan 1996

There was the coolest baptism Friday.  It was a 17 or 18 year old guy named Leon.  He was so on fire, and happy, and he had only met with the missionaries 2 weeks before.

I’m getting so worried about _______.  We really need to be in more contact with her.  I was talking with _______ about her today, because I’m so worried. She told me bad news.  _______ has stopped reading, praying and now she smokes. Oh man, is that bad news. I already know I’m not good with handling smokers.  I proved that with Emily. She also has this new boyfriend. Well, that of course is not good. Of course he’s not Mormon and she doesn’t plan on doing anything bad, right, but really, who does.  I already know she doesn’t want to sleep with him. She doesn’t even really like him. I guess she’s attracted to him but even the thought of kissing him makes her sick, so…she drinks so she doesn’t have to think about it.  Man, she’s going down a hard, fast path down, and I’ve got to find some way to stop her. I just need to figure out what to do. I can’t tell any of this to anyone either. Not even Sister Purser. I promised. I hate having so many secrets.  So, I’m not sure there is a statute of limitations on a promise.  This obviously happened a long time ago, and I’m sure this person’s life has changed significantly since I was there, but still.  The worry of a missionary was worth sharing.  Whom I was worried about, really doesn’t need to be known.

I’m aching for some mail from home.   It’s been since a couple of weeks before Christmas that I’ve heard from home too.  I did talk to them all at Christmas and that was awesome, but I know there is supposed to be 2 packages on the way, and lot’s of letters.

Nika Klobčič had her baby.  Cool! A little baby boy named Jakob.  She had him last Sunday, 31 December ‘95.  He weighed only about 6 ½ lbs, and is dark like Peter (her oldest son).  Marko Klobčič was just beaming today, 3 sons!

Silvija and Lepa didn’t come to church today.  I’m sad. I will have to call Silvija today. I think Lepa likes Sister Purser better though, so she’ll probably call her.  

9 Jan 1996

Oh man, I have to write what’s been happening to me.  It’s weird and kind of scary. Last Wednesday I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, then went back to bed.  When I laid down all of the sudden I got the worst pain I have ever had, and the scariest, since I didn’t know what it was. It was sharp pain in my right side, on my stomach, below my belly button that went around to my back.  It accelerated so fast that in five minutes it hurt so bad, and I was so scared that I woke up Sister Purser.  I actually woke up screaming.  There was no way S. P. could have slept through that. She played house very well, just like she was Mom. She made me drink a bunch of water, and I was hurting so bad that I couldn’t, but she said it would help, so I did.  Then I threw up. I was up from 2:45-5:45. At least that was about the last I remember. When I woke up, I felt so much better. The pain has never really left though. It’s now Tuesday. It still sends sharp pain sometimes, mostly on my back on the right side, but it’s always there a little, and much more after being out for a while.  I get tired much faster, and out of breath. So, Sister Purser asked Sister Fryer about it. I’m not really sure what she said, but then she told me to ask Sister Fryer. So, Sister Fryer called me up yesterday about something else and I asked her what all this could be. I guess she used to be a nurse, or something. She asked me a little bit about what happened, asked if it hurt to raise my right leg, and just some other things.  Then she told me that it sounded like it could be my appendix, and she thought I should call President Swensen. I said I would, then hung up and called Vienna. Pres. Swensen wasn’t home so I left a message with Sister Swensen. She said she would have him call if it wasn’t too late. Then I got a call from Elder Reynolds. Crazy! He asked how I was doing. I said fine, and he said, “No you’re not!” What?! How the heck would he know?  He said a little bird told him. I asked if that bird was Sister Fryer and he said he just got off the phone with her. Then he said to call President Swensen and go see a doctor. I told him I already called Pres. and was waiting for a phone call. It was very nice of him to call me, and Elder Ledbetter even wanted to say hi and tell me to be careful.

We didn’t hear from Vienna last night or this morning, so when we came home at lunch I called there again.  I told Pres, and he said that from what I had told him, and the answers to his questions, it sounded more like it has something to do with my menstral cycle.  It could be a cyst on my ovaries. He didn’t think it was my appendix because that usually comes gradually and then hits, and this just hit first and then stayed around.  But, it’s not taken off of the possibilities. He said, if it persists, or gets worse, to go to a doctor, preferably ask the members and find a good gynecologist. So, I don’t know.  I did forget to tell him something though. Actually I didn’t forget. It kept coming into my thoughts, but I kept pushing it back. At Christmas I thought I started my period, but like 1-2 weeks early.  I hadn’t. It was just a dark urine and only that day. Then it went away. Then for the next week and a half I constantly had to use the bathroom, or at least it felt like I did. But then nothing would come out.  Then Wednesday happened, and so on. On Thursday or Friday I started my period and I’ve just been weird and now I’m scared to death. I can’t believe I didn’t tell him all of that stuff. I think it probably might have something to do with all of this.  But, when I was talking to President Swensen on the phone I just kept telling myself it didn’t. Now, I just feel like a dork, and I just want to cry. I don’t really want to say too much about it to Sister Purser. She’s gone through so much and I think she just thinks I’m a baby.  I just naturally say things verbally that maybe should be kept in my head. So, maybe I complain a lot. But, maybe I don’t. I know I don’t say anything a lot but then when I do she says I don’t take pain very well. I think she gets very impatient with me a lot. I just see things differently than her. I omitted a story here, that might make the next part make more sense, but felt like it was unfair to share.  Like I said above.  Satan plays on a missionaries mind to try and make them feel horrible about themselves, and those around them.  It wouldn’t have been the first time he tried to come between me and a companion.  Other stories for a more private audience.  Prayer became more real during my mission than it ever was previously.  Just to clarify, I loved all of my companions and have absolutely no ill feelings for any of them.  I mean, I don’t think any less of myself, but it makes me kind of mad that people might think less of me. I don’t really think she does, then again, I don’t really know. She constantly corrects me, but if I ever correct her, she blows up. If it’s in front of people, I’m making her look like a fool. If it’s when we’re alone, I’m reminded that she’s not an idiot, and she had lots of experience and how come there’s so much competition in our companionship.  I can’t win anyway I go! Well, I don’t feel like I’m competing with her. Why should I? Oh well, there’s lots of stuff but how can I bring it up to her? Man, I know if I do it will cause a fight. I just know. I hate fights. I’ve spent so much of my life fighting and I’ve had to teach myself to calm my temper and roll with the punches and think before acting. Man, I’m trying so hard, but I can only take so much. Sometimes I think I trained myself too well.  Now I’m like almost scared to mention it. I never would have been like this before. I just would have said something with my dukes up ready to swing. But now I can’t even raise my voice. Have I really turned into a wimp? But, who knows which is better? What would be best for us both? I don’t know. I really do like her. I totally love her, and we have tons of fun together, but if I keep letting these feelings come, they’re going to explode. I need to have the longest prayer tonight.  I think it’s good that I finally got all of this out of my system. Now I’ve just got to do something about them.

11 Jan 1996

AGH!  I’m going crazy trapped in here.  My body is falling apart. I am really messed up and I can’t wait to get out and moving even though it’s going to wear me out totally.  So, for p-day we stayed inside, right. I don’t know, maybe it was because of me, maybe not. But, because we haven’t done anything all day my comp tells me I’m boring.  My head is a wild mess and I feel like doing something incredibly destructive! But, I don’t really want to clean it up. I think I’m in a huge state of depression and I’ve got to come out.

I got a cool blessing the other day.  It told me pretty much to look around me and be grateful for the blessings I have.  

I just broke a walnut.  I feel much better.

We had a pretty cool DDM this morning.  Then after the other district came for theirs. Sister Groberg brought me a list of doctors which was very cool of her.  Then Sister Fryer announced to everyone that I need a gynecologist. Thanks!  I think I just have a bit too much pent up energy right now and I don’t know how to get it out.  Ok, I think I’m going to calm down. I just need some sunshine. That is all.
16 Jan 1996

Boy!  Has this been an interesting day.  This morning we didn’t have any appointments so we thought it would be a perfect day to go see a doctor.  I called Nika Klobčič and asked her for a good doctor. As she just had a baby, I thought she would know of one.  She said just to go down to the clinic and they would get me a doctor. That’s how everything works here. Just go to the clinic.  Anyway, we went to the porodnišnica, which is a clinic for pregnant women, like she said. It was so funny. Medical terms and such are not exactly in my vocabulary, so we just kept saying,”I think I have female problems and I need a doctor.”  So, the first question we were asked is if I was pregnant. NO!!! So then they told me where to go to find a doctor. We went there and were so confused. The ladies in the receiving office told us to go one place. When we got there, there was another lady who had never been there before either.  So, when the doctor came over and started talking to us, she rattled off a whole bunch of stuff and then said, “right?” At the same time Sister Purser and I go, “Ne razumem (I don’t understand)” and asked if she would speak a bit slower, that we were from the States. The other lady didn’t really have a clue what was going on either.  Ste told us to follow her and we went back to the accepting place, told me to come back at 2:30, and told the ladies working there. When we went back they were so hopping busy. I stood in a line of so many unhappy females. That’s not a very good sight. Then I gave them my passport so they would have my information and all. They made up a file for me and told me to go wait by a room down the hall.  I had forgotten about all the waiting involved with doctors. When they called me in I gave a little info to the nurse and then the doctor came. She was very nice and spoke English. Yay! It wasn’t perfect, but it was so much better than I could have done in Slovene for that type of thing. She asked me for info and I told her my history. She asked me to take off my clothes on the bottom. No robe or anything!  I guess I really didn’t need one. I mean, I know what I look like and the doctor is going to see everything, and no one else was in the room. So, I guess it’s just silly, but it just makes you feel a bit more comfortable. Then she performed some tests. The first time I ever go to a gynecologist and I’m on my mission, far away from home. Then she did an ultrasound. She said that everything is normal, and I’m just fine,that I had a cyst but it ruptured and got rid of itself through menstruation and that’s where the pain came from.  Everything is fine!!!! Yay! Now I can tell President that it’s all good and not to worry anymore, and then get on with my mission.

23 Jan 1996

Tons of things have happened.  The best things ever! First, Silvija is committed to be baptized on Tuesday 31 Jan.  We are giving her a 3rd discussion tonight with Bojana, and then a 4th on Thursday. She is so cool.  Really I love working with her. She’s just so willing to learn.

The other coolest thing is that I got a letter from Mom that said Emily and Toad got married.  That is so dang cool! Well, I still haven’t heard a single word from my baby married sister. I can’t believe both my sister just younger than me have gotten married and one will have a new baby in June, and all of this has happened since I’ve been on my mission.  Wow!

Another awesome thing is that Tanja sent in her mission papers.  That is so dang cool! She interviewed with President Swensen at zone conference and now she just has to wait.  I would guess a month or so. She is amazing! She hasn’t even been a member for a whole year yet.

This is all so weird.  One week from tomorrow, Sister Purser and Sister Groberg will be leaving up to Vienna to go home.  That is very strange to me. My current comp and my trainer both are out of here and on their way to face the real world.  There’s going to be a lot of good-byes coming. Last night we all went up to Kamna Gorica to the Lotric’s house for dinner.  I do mean all of us. There was Sister Purser and I, the Fryers, Brother Harris, who’s with the translation committee, Sister Groberg and Sister Basker, and Elder Martin and Elder Dastrup.  Their house was full! Poor Boža was just running all over the place preparing stuff for us. I was so glad when she got to sit down. Plus, it was Flora’s birthday. We found out she was named after President Benson’s wife and Emma Smith.  

Anyway, on our way up  there we were all packed into the Fryer’s car.  Actually, it was just the Fryers, Sister P and I, and Brother Harris.  We didn’t really know how to get there, but we knew we were on our way if we went through Kranj.  So, Sister P was the navigator. She had the map anyway. She found a connecting road that went from Kranj to Kamna Gorica.  So off we went. This was a very interesting road. It just kept getting smaller and smaller and then finally it turned into dirt.  The road just kept switching around the mountain. We were so high on this tiny ½ dirt road that had cliffs on one side and mountains on the other.  Several times we stopped and wondered if we were on the right road or if we had gotten lost, but then we would get to a road sign and look back on the map, and it would tell us we were still going the right way.  The map would always reassure us and keep us going the right way. Even though we went in directions, into places, and on roads we didn’t think were right, as long as we followed the map we knew we would get there.  And we did. It was pretty funny actually. President Lotric got a kick out of it. We were all the way up where he was born. Plus, we got to see some beautiful country. Of course it would have been tons better in the summer and during the day, but hey, it was an interesting trip.  Brother Harris jokingly said that our little tour would make a good zone conference talk. I started thinking about it and he was right. As long as we used our references we got to where we were going. As long as we use and follow the counsel in the scriptures and from the prophets we’ll get to our destination, the Celestial Kingdom.  Even though the road or our adventures in life might not be what we expected, they could be a lot bumpier, or twistier than we expected. They might lead us up mountains or down valleys, and we might even get confused and think we’re on the wrong road. As long as we follow and use what the Lord has given us, we will make it.

I love analogies.  We get a lot on our missions but this one just screamed at me.

30 Jan 1996

It’s Sister Purser’s last day in Slovenia today.  Sister Basker and Sister Groberg are moving all Sister Basker’s things to our apartment later.  Weird! There’s so many changes this week.

Other than that, things are ok.  Silvija isn’t getting baptized tonight.  She needs more time, but that’s ok. I’m sure she will get baptized at some point.  We’re having the hardest time meeting with Mateja. It’s awful. We did meet with Ana though.  It was fun. She’s so cool. There are about a million people that we have to meet with.

Good-bye letter from Sister Groberg:

Sister Bogle-

Wassup!  This letter is specifically for your journal.  I guess I have to be serious ‘cause this is permanent.  You are a wonderful and very much needed sister missionary.  You calm  everyone down, and help us see that there are two sides to everything.  We’ve had lots of good memories: Remember walking all the way out to that rest home in Vrhovsi and it was pouring rain and we talked to the head director.  Little did we know where that was going to lead us… taking older ladies for walks (remember that time that lady went to the bathroom on the side and fell over?), playing clovek ne jezi se, cleaning wheelchairs, and the birth of our CONCERTS! Yes ma’am- we are professional. Title of our group? How about- Mormon Missionaries- (had it been later I would’ve known to say “Servants of God”).  Manca will be baptized.  So will Mateja. Sorry my leg twitch is faster.  🙂 Sis Bogle,  love you.  Take care and be the missionary you are.  It’s hard, but worth it.

<3 Sister Groberg

Good-bye letter from Sister Purser:

Draga Sestra Bogle-

Hey chic!!  How are you ever going to survive without your longest running companion?!  Thank you for your patience.  You’ve taught me so much! Always be proud of your wonderful friends and family, they are what got you here, not to mention your wonderful self.  You are talented and truly have a way of reaching those others can’t.  Keep the elders and Sister Fryer in line (not necessarily in order of greatest need).  I will miss you but I know I’ll see you again.  Work hard and remember it will all be over in the blink of an eye.  And, for heaven’s sake beware of TSS!  Pound on a few doors, drink a few megamilks, sing a few songs, win a few games of speed, tell a few stories, mock a few elders, and get a few investigators wet for me!  I love you!  Talk to you soon!

Love, Sestra Emilee Purser

 

Although my 1/2 way mark was the month before, this is really what marked the end of the first half of my mission.  There were so many lessons learned in these first 10-11 months.  I’m incredibly grateful for every lesson learned.  There were still so many lessons to come, but with my first 3 comps all gone home, I felt suddenly older, not necessarily wiser, but those amazing sisters definitely helped prepare me for what was to come.  I thank them all, Sister Groberg, Sister Mix, and Sister Purser.